Hello my name is Lisa Todd, 55 years old, married and living in Costa Rica and this is my story.
Most of my life has been plagued by one addiction or another. Starting out as a young child my addiction was people pleasing, never thinking that I was “as good as” others. This addiction led to the addiction of men which took me to a dark place of self seeking. Wanting so much to be loved and feel loved, I chased the dream that the male figure would bring me the joy that I so longed for. Yet this was just another lie from the pit of hell.
Upon determining to have love, a family and the so called “American Dream” I settled for the first man that would accept me, or so I thought, just for who I was. This led to a ten year down spiral of physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse. (As if I had anything spiritual in my life at the time).
After divorcing, It led me back to the life of chasing that “perfect” man again which led me to the bars. This only sparked yet another addiction of which I spent another 10 years in, Alcoholism. This was, I would have to admit, the worst of the addictions as it took hold of me like a serpent and squeezed the life out of me over those 10 years. I drank heavily for most of those years, usually at least a 12 pack a day. During this time, my spirit was slowly dying inside and I felt as though my days were numbered.
In November of 2000, upon a well thought out suicide plan, God intervened and brought a friend to show me a better life. She took me to a church of which I later attended weekly. That night God spoke to me in a voice like I had never heard before, like a father, like a Dad. I turned my life over to him and thought it would all be better after that. Little did I know that depression would overtake me more and more as I decided to get clean and sober.
I found myself visiting doctors offices to try to cover up the pain of a recent car accident by taking narcotics. Doctor shopping was my favorite thing to do. If one didn’t have what I wanted, then another one would. I found myself so addicted to pain killers that I wanted to end it again. Upon receiving my last prescription of yet another type of medication for pain, God said “enough is enough” and I ended up on the bathroom floor for most of the day. Whatever happened that day was totally out of my hands because most of it was just a blur. It was the sickest I think I have ever been in my entire life.
The next day after awakening, I poured all the pain killers into the toilet and said it was time for a change.
I went back to my original doctor and told him how I was having an enormous amount of anxiety due to the fact that I was weaning off the alcohol and now the pain killers as well. For years we tried many “anti-depressants” for anxiety and finally found one that worked for me with no side effects. Little did I know that this would become my next addiction. This SSRI took hold of my mind and my body like I had never known. I was brave, I was ambitious, and I was sure life was on the mend now. And I would have to say that for many years this may have been true in an odd way.
In 2009 I met a girl who is now one of my best friends and she began to talk to me about good eating, good health, exercise and how important it is to take care of our bodies. At that time I really was not that interested, at least to the point where I wish I would have been. Many years went by and as my body continued to struggle, I felt myself being drawn to this advice she had given me earlier ( I actually know now that she was sent from God.) In 2012, I started to read, and learn and actually put into action some of the things she had suggested. I tried to eat healthier foods, like more fruits and vegetables and less junk. This helped a lot but my body was still such a mess and I want to tell you why now.
I have learned that ANYTHING that a person puts into their bodies has consequences. It may be good or it may be bad, but there is a consequence. God made our bodies to run just like a fine oiled machine and there are things that just should not enter them, such as chemicals.
Well, by now I was in full fledged get healthy mode, but my body was not. In 2 years prior to knowing what I knew, I tried desperately to wean myself off the pills. (Celexa/Citalpopram). I wanted with all my heart and soul to have a clean and pure body for the Lord. I read many different ways to get off this horrible mind altering drug but each time I got deathly ill and would have to get back on them. I was distraught at the thought of having something so small control me for the rest of my life.
In 2015, I married and moved to Costa Rica where I met Rachelle at Passionate For Truth who shared with me more healthy eating tips and some herbal treatments that I was will to try and see if maybe, just maybe this was the time when it would work. Of course everything in this world is in God’s perfect timing.
On May 1, 2016, just 4 weeks ago, I said “ok it’s time” I felt that God was telling me that I was ready and so was m body. I had been on 20 milligrams for over 15 years now. I felt that God showed me that I could cut the pills in half, (something that I had never tried previously) so that is what I did. If I felt I needed a pill, I would take a half one, if not, I would skip that day but always remembering to replenish it with healthy foods and herbs to replace all that I lost. Each day was filled with so much excitement as to wondering if I would take a pill today or skip it. I stared to ask for more recipes for teas and herbal cures for anything that occurred.
Each day I walked with God and he was my angel holding me up as I took those steps toward removing this horrible demon from inside me. In the past my headaches has been so bad that I just said “give me the pills”. It was like the most severe migraine ever, and then there were the “brain zaps” of which I cannot explain, except to say that it felt like I was hooked up to a lightning bolt that went through my brain, and then the nausea, was like what I would expect chemo patients to go through.
Yet, through the month, and now sitting here on the 30th day of May, I can say that I have experienced NONE of this. Yes, I have to say that I have been quite a bit more tired, and that is one of the things that the pills are for. But I don’t want to be a “fake” excited, I want to feel my feelings in a real way, the way God intended me to feel them. This medication shut off my feelings to the point that I couldn’t even cry at situations where it would have been expected.
This month has been a miracle!!!! I have had only 4-10 milligram pills the entire month and today marks the 12th day without any. No side effects, and no pills. I am pleased to say that God does still do present day miracle and I am one of them.
Our bodies are made in his image. They are not meant to be abused by chemicals from big drug companies who make billions of dollars on unsuspecting people.
The change in climate, in eating, and thinking, in acting, and in listening to God who is almighty and is able to heal has been the best experience in my life. I never thought I would be free of all chemicals in my life, yet today I can say I am truly on my way.
Anything is possible with God, ANYTHING! If there is anything in your life that you are not completely happy with, prayer and asking God for help is the best medicine of all. I am living proof that he hears our prayers and he is always willing to send the right people to us to share with us their knowledge and wisdom to lead us down the road to recovery.
Thanks a million Rachelle for letting me share my testimony. May you be richly blessed.